Well today, i saw him, and i didn’t feel either negatively or positively towards him. I think this letter was the perfect thing to get closer and get over him.
Well I wasnt so sure if i could text him or not but i did and he said he is not dating this other girl and, im actually not torn up inside, maybe i just needed something to know that it never is gonna happen, like ever. so now i think im ready to move on. maybe in a way the letter did help with the Caz sitch, but i think im gonna just focus on school until the end. and i am finally ready to find someone else.
Basically the same thing happen today as yesterday, but i got enough courage to text him and ask him what the fuck was up. I just don’t know. But good thing summer is coming up so then the feelings will subside
You. Why you? why did I have to fall for you? Today Caz never said anything to me about the letter and he kept looking at me during 2nd period and homeroom, considering they are the only two times i see him though-out the day. When he looks at me i just get this feeling that he is looking at me with love and then i think, why do u even act like everything is okay hen i know that you know thing arent ok. I know things arent okay too. you wont even talk to me about the letter. I dont really care what you have to say about it, i just want you to acknowledge the fact that i cared enough to write the letter in the first place. Please, just care a little bit…
Its been 3 days since I gave Caz the letter. He hasnt text me about it and he didn’t come to school today and i went home sick. I dont know if he’s really sick or just avoiding me, idk. I just wish he would realize that him and i are perfect for each other. I know i sound crazy, but him and I are just like a puzzle. we fit perfectly. Not meant to be in a sexual way either. Our personalities just match and we get along so well…well got along, we aren’t really talking at this point.
A few days ago I wrote a letter to Caz saying how I feel about everything. Well today I decided to give it to him. I’m so worried as to how he’s going to react or if he even will at all. I don’t know. Its just so scary. I don’t even know.
I will nevet be that girl who get 100 likes on just a selfie picture. I will Never be that girl who walks through the halls and makes all the boys heads turn. I will Never be that girl. I feel like I will never be happy; its like I’m not meant to be happy. I’m just so sick of crying myself to sleep almost every night. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
Have you ever wanted to change something that you did or would have don’t differently in the past? Well I have been thinking about Caz all day. Last night I wrote a letter too him telling him all of my feelings toward him. I don’t know if I will actually give it to him because he is planning to ask out this other girl. So I’m not sure if I will give it to him or not. But I’ve been thinking. That night we hung out, he asked me to hang out next day and I couldn’t cuzi was going hunting the next day. I just wish I would have agreed to go out with him the next day….maybe things would have turned out differently.